CHARLIE EDWARDS was almost done with boxing. Only 28 years old, a former WBC belt holder, he ought to have plenty more to offer. But he wasnโt sure if he ever wanted to fight again.
Heโs boxed and won twice since his 2019 contest with Julio Cesar Martinez but that fight and its aftermath haunted him a while. Back then, even when he was the WBC flyweight belt-holder, he started to struggle. โI didnโt really cope with being world champion very well,โ he told Boxing News. โIt was like everyone wanted a piece of me and I didnโt know how to cope. I was getting pulled from pillar to post.โ
The weight-making alone was too much. โIt killed me that weight, it took my soul away, made me fall into a dark depression,โ he added. โThe two-week check weight, I really struggled. I was sitting in hot baths in the morning, I couldnโt sleep, I was up at five in the morning, sitting in a hot bath before and then went down the gym to do a training session. I should have pulled out, I shouldnโt have fought but I felt like I had to.
โI half knew three weeks before I was going to be beat that night. [He thought to himself] I just need to go in there and try my best and what will be will be. It was like I was going on death row.โ
Mentally he was in a dark place. He had been delighted to take possession of the WBC belt at first. But later in camp, on his own he would gaze at that belt as doubt consumed him. โI was sitting there looking at it and thinking whereโs everyone now?โ he reflected. He felt terribly lonely. โDriving my head up the wall with the pressure of defending that,โ Charlie said. โIโm looking at that thinking, โHow the f**k have I won that?โ And I feel like a fraud that I won that. Iโm not good enoughโฆ You look at all your idols and itโs hard to deal with when you become that levelโฆ I get paranoid with myself.โ
After the Martinez fight, his downward spiral would continue. โReality was I got hit to the body and my body werenโt functioning right so it shut down and then when I was on the floor, I took a knee to try and recover because I felt it. I took a knee and he hit me when I was on the floor and that was me done,โ he explained of the bout that was later ruled a no contest. โ[Going from] everything flying to then what happened to me, suffering a bit of depression, not being able to deal with the Martinez fight. With how everything went, the controversy, the s**t it brought on social media, the s**t a lot of people were chatting about me, it really affected me and the reality was I shouldnโt have fought that night.โ
Aftereffects lingered on. โIt was scary for me because I was going into the gym and I just had no energy, no nothing and I didnโt really know what was going on. So I made the conclusion maybe I need a fresh start, maybe I need a change, maybe Iโm not enjoying training no more. Or Iโm not enjoying boxing anymore,โ Charlie said. โIt really messed me up. It was a hard kind of thing to deal with and thatโs when I decided to walk away from Grant [Smith]โs gym. Iโve still got to thank Grant a lot because heโs done a lot for me.
โNo fault of Grantโs, I just felt my time had come to an end there and I just needed a new lease of life.โ
He moved with his young family to Portugal. โI donโt know if I want to box no more, letโs just go and letโs just take the next step on the journey and see what accumulates,โ he thought. โI completely started to hate boxing and I stepped away from it.โ Heโd been boxing and training hard since he was a 10-year-old child. Now he was burned out.
โYouโve got to act like youโre this big hard tough guy because you donโt want to show no weakness and that. Us boxers are the most mentally f**ked athletes out there and thatโs true,โ Charlie reflected. โItโs what you put on yourself. The expectationโฆ You put this expectation on yourself and itโs hard to deal with. When things donโt go your way, your mindโs an evil thing and tries to play tricks on you. It really does. Itโs a tough sport to be in.
โIt takes a toll on your body, massively, and takes a toll on your mind. So no wonder I got to that stage where I was tempted to walk away from it.โ
Edwards ended up taking a near three-month break from the sport. But he needed it, to refresh himself mentally and physically. But he couldnโt help thinking, โIโm wasting my potential sitting here. I feel like my callingโs calling me.โ
โIt helped me get through the mental stress and torture Iโd put my brain through for so long. It made me forget about it and it made me okay with what happened to me,โ he added.
Heโs now linked up with trainer Joe Gallagher, returning to action last month to stop Jacob Barreto inside two rounds. โIf it werenโt for him and if it werenโt for that arm round my shoulder, I donโt know, I probably wouldnโt have been brave enough to make the decision. Because where I was at confidence-wise was really low,โ Charlie said. โIโve had sports psychology over the last two years to help me get through all the Martinez s**t. Iโve opened up a lot, Iโve had professional help to help me deal with it. Thatโs probably why coming back, especially teaming up with Joe, getting my confidence back. My last fight, the opponent wasnโt world level, heโs European level and I wiped him out in two rounds.
โFor me that was a big statement. It shows a lot of the pain, the hardship, the crazy thoughts Iโve had over the last two years, it all went into that fight and thatโs now brought my confidence back. Iโm ready to go again.โ